TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday ?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today .
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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George !
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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
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TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No, I'm Billy Anderson.
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TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.
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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
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HAROLD:Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
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TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.
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GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.